Counselling Canary Wharf
Unit 68 Cannon Workshops
London E14 4AS
07940 516 806
Even stable relationships have highs and lows, but sometimes they can get strained, painfully stuck and negative patterns can start to increase. You may have just realised that things aren’t quite like they used to be; or you might already be in the grip of some serious difficulties. When a very prime relationship starts losing intimacy or trust, wellbeing can suffer tremendously. When the strength of a marriage, co-habitation or civil partnership begins to decline, deep insecurity and despair can set in. The help of a relationship counsellor can make all the difference to help you move towards a new phase in your relationship.
Couples counselling for partners can help you to:
Understand yourself and each other more by appreciating how childhood family values and beliefs play out in the current relationship. You might be operating from different value systems which neither of you may be fully aware of. You might be making assumptions of each other based on your personal past, which clouds the reality in the present.
Understand patterns in your emotions, thoughts and behaviour towards each other. Each person will begin to appreciate and respect the origin of their own and each other’s difficulties in contributing to the problem.
Find a way to listen and be heard by the other. This will help you negotiate better and talk more freely about difficulties.
If you decide to separate, counselling can help you more fully understand and accept the decision, respect the reasons behind it, negotiate the ending and begin to let go. You may need to work through considerations such as children, property, mutual friends and wishes or necessities to remain in contact.
Relationship counselling for individuals can help you to:
Work on relationship difficulties when your partner is unable or unwilling to attend therapy.
Understand more deeply your own difficulties in forming and keeping stable relationships.
Cope with losing your partner through separation, divorce or death.
What brings couples to counselling:
There are a number of reasons two people find that a relationship that once gave them comfort and joy is now a source of difficulty and pain. Below are some of the more common difficulties:
Communication is key to a successful relationship. If you can’t successfully communicate your feelings, you might begin to feel frustrated and lonely. One of you might have shut down emotionally. Or perhaps the same argument repeats again and again but nothing shifts. One or both of you might feel you cannot be heard. The gaps between you might feel wider and the silences longer. Counselling can help you bridge these.
Life events such as work pressures, new family commitments, money problems and health difficulties can all burden the relationship. Children arriving, children leaving home, parents ageing, close ones dying or work arrangement changing can profoundly impact a stable relationship whether you anticipated changes or not. Adjustments can be unsettling and you might find that you cannot spend the same amount or quality of time with each other. Counselling can help you reform your relationship as you find yourself in your new set of circumstances.
Affairs can deeply challenge trust, security and stability in a relationship. Suddenly the relationship that once gave you strength, leaves you feeling shaken and disappointed. Counselling can help couples acknowledge the pain, process what happened and explore how to recover from the hurt and disruption.
Conflict emerges even in stable relationships at some point. Differences in themselves are an important part of an individual sharing their life closely with another person. However, differences can sometimes begin to form a rift if they cannot be negotiated and accepted. Differences can result in repetitive arguments and resentment. Counselling can offer a neutral space for you to explore more deeply your differences and how to accommodate them into your relationship.
To end the relationship. Couples counselling is not just about people looking to save the relationship. Both or one of the partners may have already decided that the relationship cannot continue. This is not all an easy decision and it may impact many other people such as children, friends and family. Counselling can give both partners a safe space to be honest about their views, deeply scrutinize all the options, be clearer about life goals and have more perspective on decisions reached.